4 Thirteen

Time Slip Sliding Away

I woke up this morning and there were strangers in my life. Their presence did not startle me or cause me fear for their arrival was not a complete surprise. In fact, many years ago I had thought, even planned of their coming. At one time, I had envisioned what they would look like, act like and become. I had grand designs of how I would help usher them into the journey of life and faith. But certainly it could not have passed by this quickly.
As time would always have it, life didn’t wait on me, my time, my schedule or my agenda. Oblivious to me, precious, irretrievable moments slipped by my agenda focused life. Don’t get me wrong, I have met the strangers before, we’ve spent some time with him. Great times, memorable times, but I wanted so much more, I had hoped for much more.
On this river of life, how could I not see the value of every moment and experience? How could I allow, from time to time, our lives to drift nonchalantly down crucial stretches of the river and not take the time to paddle over to them and secure their hands in mine for strength, to focus their eyes on the important markings of life, to hold them closer so that with every breath of life they breathed they would sense my heart beating within theirs and know that my love surrounded their hearts, my faith shaped their faith, my strength held them when they seemed to have none of their own. How could I allow those stretches of the river to pass aimlessly by and not sense the sacredness, the value, the precious nature of the moment? Oh how I wish I could paddle back upstream and retrieve those moments when I was too exhausted to be attentive, to selfish to be sensitive, to pre-occupied to be present, but I cannot.
Now, this morning, I awake to no strangers in our house. Our sons, Tyler and Seth are in homes of their own. They are no longer boys but men. Much better men that I could have hoped for, planned for or envisioned. The little boys down the hall, the ones God gave me as gifts, those sacred trusts to nurture and mold, those little boy are gone and so have many of my opportunities of time and moments with them.
I woke up this morning and the strangers were gone. Time just keeps slip sliding away.

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